This has never happened before. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.
I can make out a tiny twinge in my chest, but it seems like I should be feeling more.
I desperately want to, but I don't know how.
I used to hate life. I was kinda depressed. And not stupid silly exaggerated depressed. Actually depressed. But one day I made a decision to be happy, and not let myself be sad.
I think that decision caused me to stop feeling certain things, or at least not be able to feel them as easily. Some days I regret that. But there's nothing I can do, except maybe slip back into being the bitter angry person that I was.
But I know I won't allow that to happen.
And now my friend, one of my best friends, one of the extremely few people I trust, is moving, far, far away. And the chances of me seeing her again are slim.
I want to cry, it feels like a crying moment, but I just can't. I don't know how.
And that makes me sad.